Best of Week 6: Charlie Brown kicked the football — aka Vandy beats Bama

By / / Sports / 16 minutes of reading


If we are, as some scientists have hypothesized, living in a multiverse in which all possible outcomes occur along some timeline, then we can still rest easy knowing that our lives are in fact unique and special and touched by some higher power because in no other possible universe could what happened in Nashville on Saturday happen again.

A week ago, Alabama escaped Georgia in what seemed like the best game of the year, a harbinger that the Crimson Tide dynasty didn’t end with Nick Saban’s departure; it was simply a changing of the guard to Kalen DeBoer’s Bama.

And on Saturday, the king was replaced again, usurped by the court jester’s good-for-nothing roommate.

Vanderbilt did the impossible, knocking off No. 1 Alabama 40-35 in a game that might not technically qualify as the biggest upset in the sport’s modern era but certainly fits the bill in spirit.

Nothing about Week 6 screamed drama. It was a week in which just one pair of top-25 teams met on the field — and that turned out to be a snooze, as Texas A&M romped over Missouri. The other powers — Georgia, Penn State, Ole Miss and Oregon — seemed to sleepwalk to easy enough wins.

Then No. 10 Michigan lost to unranked Washington. Then No. 11 USC lost to unranked Minnesota. Then No. 4 Tennessee lost to unranked Arkansas. The weekend that was supposed to provide only the dullest of chalk ended up giving us one of the most stunning strings of upsets we’ve had in years — five of the nation’s top 11 losing on the same day for the first time since 2016.

That Alabama found itself suffering through a hangover in Nashville is no surprise. The win over Georgia had felt so seismic, an exclamation point for a program used to making statements.

By halftime on Saturday, the hangover looked a bit more serious than we might’ve expected. But by the time Commodores tight end Kamrean Johnson hauled in a 6-yard touchdown pass from Diego Pavia with 5:07 to play. we’d reached a “Let’s DoorDash Arby’s” level of hangover.

And yet, it still felt almost inevitable that Alabama would find a way — just as it had a week ago, behind quarterback Jalen Milroe’s arm and wide receiver Ryan Williams’ magic.

Then Pavia threw a 19-yard completion.

Then Sedrick Alexander ran for 13 yards through the teeth of Alabama’s flummoxed defense.

Then Pavia scrambled for 8 yards and a first down with 1:10 to play — and all Vandy had to do was take a knee to secure its first win over a top-five opponent in 60 tries and leave the bachelorette parties downtown squealing and whooping incoherently (though that last part might have been unrelated).

It was the type of mythical David-over-Goliath win they write songs about, if only Nashville had any songwriters.

For the Commodores, there were so many small storylines that felt, in retrospect, like genuine foreshadowing. There was coach Clark Lea’s promise in the summer of 2022 that Vandy would one day be the best program in the country. He might as well have told the assembled masses at SEC media day that Saban was going to retire and start riding around in a van with his dog solving mysteries. It was nonsensical. And yet, here we are, witness to Vandy toppling the No. 1 team in the nation.

It was less than 11 months ago that Pavia and Jerry Kill led New Mexico State into Jordan-Hare Stadium and utterly embarrassed Auburn. Now, both are at Vandy — Pavia as QB, Kill as advisor to Lea — and they’ve beaten Bama too. Pavia yelled into a microphone on live television that Nashville would be “f—ing turnt,” and somehow that seemed a perfectly natural reaction — subdued, even — to what happened but also an earned celebration for a kid who grew up idolizing Johnny Manziel and dreaming of a moment like this. That Kill has helped turn around both New Mexico State and Vandy in consecutive years is probably enough evidence to warrant sandblasting Jefferson off Mount Rushmore and carving out Kill’s likeness instead.

In its opener this season, Vandy escaped Virginia Tech in part because it got a second chance after the Hokies inexplicably sent two players onto the field wearing the same jersey number during a Vanderbilt punt. The Commodores eventually turned that second chance into a touchdown in a game ultimately won by one possession. And on Saturday, the same thing happened. The difference between 3-2 Vandy with two epic wins and 1-4 Vandy being completely ignored on the national stage is literally another team’s laundry.

It was another résumé win for a school whose résumé previously just read: “Technically a football team.” For virtually the entirety of its history, Vandy was essentially the SEC’s version of the dead body at the start of each episode of “Law & Order.” That’s essential to the plot of the show, but it isn’t supposed to have any dialogue and mostly exists to allow the stars to make a few dark jokes. And now the Commodores have wins over Virginia Tech and Alabama, a narrow defeat to a top-10 Missouri and a close loss to an unspecified team from Georgia. (Let them have their moment.)

What was most exhilarating and confounding, though, was that Vandy absolutely deserved this win. It had nine more first downs than the Tide. It ran for more yards, often straight up the gut against a Bama front that looked a shell of what we saw a week ago against Georgia. It refused to let drives die, converting 13 of 19 third- and fourth-down tries, and as a result, the Dores held the football for more than 42 minutes.

And when it was all over, Vandy not only rushed the field, not only celebrated with its fans and basked in the win and cursed on live TV, but it had the gumption to stick it to Bama’s former coach, replaying a Saban sound bite in which he said the only easy venue in the SEC was at Vanderbilt.

Whichever staffer on Vanderbilt’s stadium ops crew dug up that clip in advance of the win needs to be carried down Broadway like a conquering hero.

It is fair to suggest this isn’t your father’s Vandy team (or, more accurately, the Vandy team from the last time you wore that sport coat hanging in your closet). Lea has these Dores playing good football. Pavia is a swashbuckling underdog who’s entirely deserving of Manziel’s mantle. And as is required by federal law to note in situations like this, there are no easy weeks in the SEC, despite Saban’s now-infamous hot take.

But make no mistake, this was a genuine one-in-a-million outcome — not because Vandy is bad or Alabama is preordained or because this weekend seemed so entirely fluke-proof. All of those things could be true and they still wouldn’t capture the magnitude of what happened.

This was an outcome that a thousand monkeys typing on a thousand typewriters for a thousand years couldn’t script on accident because things like this simply don’t happen. It was the Washington Generals toppling the Harlem Globetrotters, Charlie Brown kicking the football and Dabo Swinney taking a transfer all rolled into one.

In other words, things like this don’t happen in any universe. None but this one, on this beautiful blue marble on this particular Saturday on a field in Nashville that even Saban didn’t take seriously.

Lucky for us, it’s the universe we’re all living in, and we get to go along for the ride.

Jump to:
Army/Navy 5-0
Gift trash talking
Vibe shifts
Under the radar

end rule

Army, Navy 5-0

In the fall of 1945, Army and Navy defeated fascism then both started 5-0 on the football field.

That was the Greatest Generation.

In the fall of 2024, Army and Navy are again 5-0 for the first time in 79 years, making this at least a pretty good generation despite otherwise being ruined by TikTok and avocado toast.

Navy demolished Air Force 34-7 on Saturday, with Blake Horvath rushing for 115 yards and two touchdowns and at least six good “zoomies” taunts at his opposition.

Not to be outdone, Army went to Tulsa and dominated 49-7 behind 250 combined passing and rushing yards and two touchdowns from Bryson Daily. Daily completed all five of his pass attempts, averaging 28 yards per throw, which served as a reminder to people in Michigan that it’s OK to employ the forward pass from time to time.

What does it mean that Army and Navy are off to their best combined start to the season since World War II in the larger scope of international diplomacy? It’s impossible to say at this point, but just to be safe, it’s probably a bad idea to invade Poland in the next few weeks.

A&M gets last laugh

Le’Veon Moss and Amari Daniels combined to run for 172 yards and five touchdowns on 21 carries as Texas A&M routed No. 9 Missouri 41-10 on Saturday.

Missouri QB Brady Cook completed just 13 of 31 passes, an ugly performance somewhat predicted by the gift wideout Theo Wease Jr. received in his hotel room upon arrival in College Station.

Now, we should point out this is technically a throw, not a blanket. It says so right there on the label. And, as such, Wease did actually haul in Missouri’s only touchdown of the day. Next time, Will Lee III should consider a nice duvet cover.

Still, Lee’s gift was an undeniably great bit of smack talk, and we’d like to think more players will follow his lead by leaving gifts for the opposition before the game — a bag of potatoes with a note, “enjoy the sack; there’ll be plenty more tomorrow” or a box of Bisquick with the message “prepare to get pancaked” or a bag of those hint-of-lime Tostitos. No note with that last one. Just impossible not to eat the whole bag, thus leaving your opponent listless and dehydrated for game day. Those are good chips.

Week 6 vibe shifts

Each week, there are big wins and painful losses that help shape the story of the season. But there also are more subtle shifts — small movements in the larger ecosystem that don’t garner headlines but can prove to be just as important. We work to capture them here.

Trending down: Billy Napier seat temperature

Florida is officially over .500 and won’t finish as the worst Power Four team in the state. Given that the expectation for the Gators after the early loss to Miami involved a slew of losses, a likely coaching change and a photo surfacing of a naked Napier hugging a shark on the back of a boat, this is nothing short of a massive success.

The Gators toppled UCF 24-13 on Saturday, giving Napier consecutive wins vs. Power Four opponents for just the third time in his Florida tenure.

Graham Mertz and DJ Lagway were near flawless again, completing 23 of 28 passes for 229 yards. Over their past two games, they’ve tossed just six incompletions on 56 passes.

Honestly, what are the odds we could write that many consecutive positive things about the Gators this year?

Trending up: The apocalypse

It was 97 degrees at kickoff for Rutgers-Nebraska on Saturday, enough heat to make the corn in the stands go best with movie-theater butter.

It was also enough to stifle most of the offense. Neither team managed more than 264 yards, and Huskers QB Dylan Raiola was just 13-of-27 with a pick. But two Rutgers turnovers and a stout defensive performance from Nebraska secured an ugly 14-7 win.

Given the extreme temperatures and the fact that Nebraska won a one-score game (8-26 in games decided by a TD or less since 2019), head coach Matt Rhule announced afterward that, in fact, the end times were upon us and we should seek shelter and hug our loved ones.

Holding steady: Hoosier State football

Indiana’s rollicking start to the 2024 season continued unabated Saturday, as the Hoosiers dismissed Northwestern 41-24 while also leaving a pretty unimaginative three-star review on the lakefront Airbnb where the Wildcats are playing this season.

If you had Indiana as the first team to qualify for bowl eligibility in 2024, congratulations. You’re a winner. After making just five bowls in the past 30 years, Indiana is now 6-0 and virtually guaranteed to beat Kentucky 12-9 in the ReliaQuest Bowl.

That hot start has to be frustrating for Purdue, which can usually count on Indiana to be so embarrassing no one notices how bad the Boilermakers are. Sadly, Purdue’s misery is on full display in 2024. On Saturday, the Boilermakers lost 52-6 to Wisconsin, mustering just 216 yards of offense and converting just 1 of 11 third-down tries. They’re 1-4 on the year, the lone win coming against Indiana State (which didn’t have Larry Bird so really never had a shot) and has now lost each of its four games by at least 17.

Trending up: QB changes in Ann Arbor

Michigan made its second QB change of the season, benching Alex Orji in favor of Jack Tuttle midway through its game against Washington, but the end result was the same: The passing game struggled, and a late pick proved the difference in a 27-17 Huskies win.

Tuttle threw for 98 yards, which believe it or not, is the fourth-most by a Michigan QB this season, but his interception with 3:24 to play allowed Washington to ice the game with a late field goal.

Michigan threw for just 113 yards in the game — 20 of which came on the final drive — its fourth straight with 134 or less through the air. The last time a top-20 team did that in four straight was 2014-15 Georgia Tech, which ran the triple option. That, by the way, might not be such a bad idea for the Wolverines moving forward.

Trending down: Lincoln Riley narratives

It’s not exactly Vandy-over-Bama weird, but USC’s defense has been good AND the Trojans are struggling because they can’t score points.

USC was again reminded that football in the Big Ten is intended to be ugly, slow and occasionally results in winning a trophy shaped like a jar of pickles or a bronze bedpan that once belonged to William Henry Harrison, falling to Minnesota 24-17 after turning the ball over three times.

The Gophers scored on each of their final two drives, while USC wasted a 17-10 win with two picks and a three-and-out in their final three drives.

Honestly, Riley didn’t bolt Oklahoma to escape coaching in the SEC just so he could lose Big Ten games like this. Very disappointing.

Trending up: Last year’s new FBS teams

On Friday, Jacksonville State pulled a nifty trick in the second half of a 63-24 win over Kennesaw State.

The Gamecocks had just five possessions in the second half, and yet they scored a total of 42 points.

Some basic math would suggest that’s six touchdowns, which is accurate. Not only did Jacksonville State find the end zone on each of its five possessions, it also had a 30-yard pick-six.

It’s just the fourth time in the playoff era a team has scored 42 or more points with five or fewer drives in the second half of a game. Oddly, San Diego State did it earlier this season against FCS Texas A&M-Commerce but only scored four offensive touchdowns, adding two on defense.

Jacksonville State isn’t the only second-year FBS team to add a big win in Week 6 though. Sam Houston beat UTEP like it was former Ohio Sen. William Stanbery, 41-21. Sam Houston is now 5-1 on the season, with its only loss coming at the Battle of Horseshoe Bend. Or maybe UCF. We only skimmed the Sam Houston Wikipedia page.

Trending down: Dilfer’s dimes

Tulane hung seven dimes and a penny on Trent Dilfer’s UAB team Saturday with a 71-20 win that moves UAB to 1-4 on the season. The Blazers are just 5-12 under Dilfer, including eight losses by 20 or more. Only Temple and Kent State have more such losses in that span.

Under-the-radar drive of the week

Normally we don’t put a spotlight on a single drive in a game, but this week we felt it necessary to highlight North Carolina’s slow decline into madness.

Leading 7-3 against undefeated Pitt, the Heels ran 19 plays, including two fourth-down conversions, covering 81 yards and chewing up 9:03 of clock.

The result: Squat. Nada. Zilch.

A Jacolby Criswell throw on fourth-and-2 at the Pitt 9 fell incomplete, making it just the second drive of the season of 19 plays or more not to end with points. (Western Kentucky had a 21-play scoreless drive against Alabama, so at least UNC can say it has something in common with Alabama.)

The Heels still had chances to win, but that only served to provide just enough hope to make the inevitable ending — a 34-24 Pitt win — all that much more infuriating for coach Mack Brown, who is approximately one more loss away from ripping off his shirt, shouting incoherently and running into the woods to live with a family of badgers.

On a more positive note, Pitt is 5-0 for the first time since 1991 — a time when Curtis Martin roamed the backfield, Pirates baseball wasn’t a national embarrassment and Barry Bonds’ head didn’t have its own satellites. And Eli Holstein is the first Pitt QB to win his first five career starts since Dan Marino, who would go on to have a successful career as a glove salesman.

Under-the-radar play of the week

Penn State continues to be the Big Ten team that wins every game against non-contending opponents in the least noteworthy way possible after Saturday’s 27-11 dispatching of UCLA. But while the bulk of this game could’ve been scripted in advance like a WWE match, there was one small wrinkle that made the whole affair worthwhile.

The Lions sent 350-pound offensive lineman Olaivavega Ioane in motion, and he delivered by possibly sending UCLA D-lineman Luke Schuermann backward in time.

The first hit, of course, is monstrous, and that’s the point in which Schuermann’s buddies should be telling him, “Bro, just stay down.” Unfortunately, he ignored the fact that he has an entire family somewhere who cares about him, and he got back up for more.

This was, in many, a nice microcosm of UCLA’s shift to the Big Ten — a normal dude wrestling an F-350. They’re 1-4 overall, 0-3 in conference, and have led for a grand total of 2:16 this season — the final 56 seconds against Hawaii and 1:30 in the first half against LSU.

The takeaway: LSU is the worst team UCLA has played this year.

Under-the-radar game of the week

In most weeks, watching a game between UConn and Temple would be punishment for shoplifting in some more draconian jurisdictions, but on Saturday, it was actually pretty fun.

There were seven different lead changes in the game, including UConn going up 23-20 with 3:46 to play. Temple, however, had a shot to win it on a fourth-and-goal from the 1-yard line and 3 seconds to play, but Tyler Douglas fumbled on an attempted “Brotherly Shove,” and UConn recovered for a scoop and score.

This is a good reminder to the folks at Temple: You may be located in Philadelphia, but you are not the Philadelphia Eag– what’s that? By 17 to the Bucs, you say? And they’ve lost seven of their last 10? Ah. Well then. Carry on, Temple.





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About The Author

Avatar of Betsy Garcia
Betsy Garcia is a news writer for Onyx Express. She has been in the field of journalism for over 15 years, and she's also worked as an editor and publisher. Betsy is a huge fan of sports, especially soccer and basketball. Her other interests include books and education, which is where her career came from.

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